Mamaw never knew what she had bought us for Christmas.
After opening gifts on Christmas morning she’d often say, “Let me see what I
got you.” She’d give mom the money for us and trust that mom would get us what
we needed. This particular year she’d bought me a pair of American Eagle khaki
pants and I was pleased as punch.
Another of our family talents is our penchant to make
Christmas last as long as possible. Growing up I always enjoyed this tradition
of making the holidays last longer. First of all it gave me more opportunities
to wear my new Christmas clothes over the holiday break (hello new khakis!) But also I loved holding my relatives hostage in
Pound at Mamaw’s house, once they all left I’d still be there and I appreciated
the company. Therefore, Osborne Christmas dinner is not held until December 26
each year.
No one gets to sit around waiting on dinner, everyone’s
given a job. In the last years of Mamaw’s life she’d encourage me to hone my
domesticity around the holidays. For example, the year I got married when she
pronounced this would be the year she would let me make the chocolate
pies. But in my middle school days the tasks entrusted to me were much simpler
though still never anything I looked forward to.
On the third day of Christmas and no doubt thanks to the
confidence I possessed in my new pants I was sent to the dairy on the hill to
fetch two jars of something I couldn’t be bothered to remember the name of. Chow
chow? Kraut? Whatever it was I knew it would not make its way onto my plate.
The back yard is a hillside with 5 little rinky-dink
steps on the steepest part. I carefully took the steps up and opened the creepy
door to the dairy, ducked my head to enter and pulled the chain so the single
light bulb could illuminate the spider webs and mystery jars. I retrieved my
treasure swiftly and with jars in both hands headed toward home.
Although disgusted by their contents I knew that much
like pimpin’, cannin’ ain’t easy. So when I missed one of those pathetic little
skinny steps and began to fall my priority was securing the jars! Unfortunately,
this made a casualty of the Christmas khakis.
The only thing injured was my pride, Christmas dinner
was served (complete with the mystery canned goods from 1980) and Mamaw patched
the knee of my pants with a stiff piece of fabric that never gave the way the
knees of pants should. A sobering reminder of my clumsiness each time I wore
them and attempted to sit down.
Even now, grown and with a garden of my own, I’m still
a disappointment to her (she is a mountain mamaw after all). I haven’t learned to use the sewing machine
she left me so that I can patch my own clothes. I’ve never mastered pie-making
and my canning recipes come from Pinterest. But each time I use my water-bath
canner, gather eggs from the chickens or slice a cucumber I’d like to think she
notices and is proud.
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