On Community

I use the word community a lot for a person who doesn’t have a great definition for it. It’s more of a feeling in my bones than something I can put into words when called upon to do so. It is one of those education buzzwords that’s often given in job interviews, like differentiation or graphic organizers, “I want to build a community of learners.” Boom. You’re suddenly entrusted with teaching 75 teenagers the importance of democracy. But in my personal life community has come to be what I am constantly seeking.

I have found community in church and I’ve found it at work. I’ve seen community play out in small towns-the coming together in crisis or rallying around the local basketball team. I’ve been host to community over shared love of books, wine, or Jesus depending on the season of my adult life.

I was raised by community. Small and isolated. Community with big hearts for their own but that rarely extended far beyond town limits. I’ve left community and its comforts many times and inevitably experienced a pang of regret.

And with each move I’ve also experienced isolation, at parties where community is present and I am not a part of it. Having been in this new city for only a few months, my community is only starting to form. It could easily be lost as I attempt to build trust and share experiences. I am grateful for it but always hesitant.

Instead my community lives in Mississippi and Virginia. East Africa and Kentucky. Selfishly, I want community in my immediacy-next door for shared days and meals. But then I wouldn’t be able to experience and give love to a global community of people who do amazing work in their own cities, following their passions and extending our collective community by adding more-building a longer table and not a higher fence-as the saying goes.

Whatever community is I hope you find it and hold tightly to it. When you move or they move, through change and growth, differing opinions and seasons of prolonged absence. May you always come back to your community, not expecting too much of each other but loving each other just as hard when you reunite.

Lake living

We just got back from a long weekend on the lake with our friends from back home. We rented a cabin where babies and Ike had plenty of running room. We don't get to see each other enough so it was great to have some quality time to relax and catch up.

The decks were awesome. We spent lots of time sunning outside and in the kiddie pool. A few of us got in the lake, though it was murky and you smelled like poop when you emerged. One of Drew's Crocs was also lost in the abyss that is Claytor Lake. R.I.P. camo Croc, you had a good run. Apparently it's my fault for taking too long to get in the water while he was sinking into mud. I just wanted to make sure we were clear on the plan before I jumped into the nasty water. The quote of the trip was "No, I want you to catch me like baboon baby." I panic around water. That's never been a secret.

These were the souls brave enough to get in the water the second day. After all of Drew's bitching I wasn't about to have him lose a second shoe on my account so I stuck to the kiddie pool this day. 

Friday night we ventured to Floyd for a yummy dinner and ice cream. It was so nice to introduce our friends to our soon to be home. 

These two babies were the best things. And I know a puppy who is going to miss them feeding him constantly. They are the two sweetest kids and were so good all weekend. Jackson learned Ike's name so quickly and it cracks me up how much he loves dogs despite his mama's hatred of them. At one point he took his shoe off and started licking his foot and when his mom asked what he was doing he said "Ike does it." Oh my goodness he was a hoot. Also, watching Gracie kick her feet and and get the biggest grin on her face as Drew fed her ice cream was hilarious. 

Our bedroom was in what Molly called a "hobbit hole." It was so cute and she snapped this picture of us last night, creepily, but I'm glad she did. 

The fishing wasn't too great. I either almost caught a sea turtle or got stuck on something but I'm telling myself it was a huge catfish that I was too weak to reel in.

Last night we had a fire and roasted s'mores and watched neighboring fireworks. 

We had lots of visitors as well: 1 snake, 1 bear, 1 million mayflies, 1 deer, 1,000 ants, and 1 dead animal we would catch a whiff of occasionally from the deck. I think this will become our annual trip. 

Where do we go from here

Do you ever feel like all of your friends move? Hmm, maybe it's just us and maybe we just feel that way because they all really do. We were lucky enough to get to have dinner with our dear friends whom we hadn't seen in ages this weekend who are preparing to move to Washington. They were the second couple we met in Blacksburg with whom we became very close. The first couple we met now live in Arizona.

Today, we drove back to Blacksburg to spend the day with friends preparing to move to Pennsylvania in the next few months. And have I told you about our friends who blog here who are moving to Kenya in August?

After a while, it's hard not to take it personally. We know that Blacksburg is a transient area but we haven't really made many new friends yet in Roanoke. We still cling to those in Blacksburg because they're so close and because we know our time with them is limited.

In beginning the job application process for me, Drew and I again begin the discussion about where we would be comfortable moving. Do we stay in Virginia? Do we dare venture North or West? The only place we can even fathom south of here would be Asheville but are we ready to settle down yet?

All of these questions in the midst of student teaching, finishing up my research paper to present to a committee, and applying for jobs is draining me. I see the light at the end of the grad school tunnel but what comes after it? I'm really hoping it's a job but most people are quick to tell me that normally in education that isn't the case.

But I'm willing to move, does that count for anything? And Drew is willing to go with me which makes it even better, so where do I apply? I'm open to suggestions. Roanoke and the surrounding counties but I've spoken to them and few of them sounded as if they are expecting tons of openings for the fall.

 I've said it before and I'll say it again, being an adult kinda sucks. Your friends all leave and then you still don't have a job. It's a tough world out there kiddos. I totally understand living in your parents basement and avoiding the fray. It's much less messy.

Lest I sound too depressed there is good news to report: we will have a garden plot with the Roanoke community garden this spring and summer. I can't wait to get some veggies in the ground. Fresh veggies, hiking, and camping are just around the corner. Also who could be stressed with this cutie around?

 

A Day on Claytor

Yesterday we spent a lovely afternoon on Claytor Lake. It is so beautiful down there I feel bad that we live so close and haven't taken advantage of it more.

 The weather was perfect!  

 

We also got to bring Ikey boy and he had a great time playing with our friends' dog Jayten. They were both pooped by the time we finished dinner last night.

 



The dogs, like me, weren't crazy about the water so we spent a lot of time like this:

Here's proof of how little they cared for the water:

 

 

 

 

We tubed, which is pretty uncharacteristic for me but Sarah and Ben made it look fun so I gave it a go.

 



We had a little boat trouble a time or two so Drew and I spent most of our tubing time waiting for the boat to get fixed but that was preferable to me. Much more relaxing.

Overall it was a perfect end of summer day. Relaxing and fun and we had some delicious pizza to end the day. I foresee many more trips to Claytor Lake in our future, there are lots of houses to rent for a little vacay. Anyone interested??

 

Recently

I was figuring it up the other day and in the two years Drew and I have been married, he's been on 4 guys trips. One fishing trip each spring. And a hunting trip each fall. Ask me how many girls trips I've had.....until last week the answer was zero.

My gal-pal and female soul-mate and I made a quick girls trip to Charleston and it was just what the doctor ordered.
She's one of the few people who I can cry with over dinner in a snazzy seafood restaurant and not feel ridiculous.
We continue to request Bob Seger at every bar we go to even though no one ever agrees to play it.
We have a knack for laughing at the most inappropriate things and time and we attract the most interesting characters.
She shares my love of food, beer and a comfy bed all of which we enjoyed there.

In other news...
I got to spend some time at home last week as well for the annual Relay for Life my family participates in and just some relaxing family time.

 



Also while home I finished this book which is so unlike me but I like to keep people on their toes. I had heard my friend Colleen suggest it and compare it to the Hunger Games but by Stephen King. It was heart-wrenching. It has settled on me and I can't seem to get it out of my head.

And lastly I recently got this tattoo for my mamaw. It turned out perfectly and I'm so glad to have her with me always.

 

And these are our most recent veggies:

 



You are now officially caught up on every aspect of my life. Thrilling, right?

I'm going to try to make the most of my next 3 weeks because they are the only honest-to-goodness summer weeks I'll have had with no school work. What shall I do???....

Home again home again jiggity jog

Anyone know the rest of that little nursery rhyme?? If you do, 10 points for you, I just taught it to my husband about a week ago and he recites it every time we pull in the driveway.

Drew was on unpaid vacay this past week (Thank you Caterpillar!)So we went home to help my parents with a little demo work as they are beginning a remodel today. I learned how to pull nails out of a wall using a hammer. I always knew it was possible and that the back of the hammer was like that for a reason....However, I didn't know to use leverage against the wall so I was just trying to wiggle the nail out of said wall with said hammer. After almost whacking myself in the face a few times, I figured it out.

My mom almost cried when I told her that. She said it makes her sad when she finds out I don't know how to do pretty basic things like that. I won't tell her it's because she always did everything for us so now all 3 of her children are invalids.

Also while home, I purchased this little pretty from my cousin who is making them like it's her job!!

She has all different color beads and I haven't taken mine off since I got it last week. You can read her blog here and also, I would imagine you can order yourself a snazzy bracelet while there too!

 

 

Also, we had my dad's family reunion over the weekend. Amazingly, (not really) I have no pictures to showcase it, I must have been too busy actually interacting and enjoying myself. I'm such a disgrace to my generation!!!! As my friend Libby said when we had dinner last week "You didn't really have a good time unless you have pictures of it." *insert sarcastic tone*

 

Annndd I want to point out a fun fact: Libby and I were not friends in high school. In fact we were the opposite, but can I just say that I don't know what was wrong with me??? She is so much fun and I love her sense of humor. There's a lesson kiddies: You probably would have had more in common with people outside of your "clique" in high school had you taken the time to get to know it.

 

 

Back to the reunion.... We don't get to see my dad's extended family much so it is nice to catch up with everyone. My granny is always happy to have everyone there together so that makes it all worth it. (Even when she gets all out of sorts and is sent off on a wine-tasting to calm down in the middle of it all).

 

 

As per usual I'm back home and procrastinating on homework and purchasing episodes of Sons of Anarchy on Amazon instant to reward myself for not doing my work...wait, do I have that backwards? 

Life as I know it

Well it's been a bit since my last update. I am back in the grind and still trying to grasp the life of a grad student. I am ecstatic about my research. I could cry just thinking about it. Thanks to my amazing advisor and a little of my own doing I feel like we are on the verge of something awesome. I'm not ready to go completely public with it yet but it involves Appalachia so it is so close to my heart. My other grad level course is amazing. It's a class full of women and it is so nice to look forward to Thursday nights to just get to discuss education with all of them. It's great to have so many perspectives. I'm so glad I'm here at Radford. It was definitely the right choice for me. I've met with the App. Studies department and they were the sweetest. I just wanted to sit and talk with them for days. That's the latest with me.

Drew has been a big support system for my research so far. I am so lucky to have someone who gets as excited as I do about research because to be honest I can be a little obnoxious talking about it. He seems to be enjoying his work and is definitely looking forward to hunting season and oddly so am I. I am sooo ready to have deer meat in the freezer and deer jerky in my mouth! Yum!

Ike has been good, except for his mother trying to unknowingly kill him by giving him treats from China. Thank goodness that freak out has passed. However, he was a little puny last night so I'm hoping that was just a little bug.

Ike and I are gearing up for a trip to Pound in a few weeks when Drew heads to PA to hunt. I'm so excited to go home, it has been a little while. Plus, now I have a new face to visit because my dear friend Kristen gave birth to a beautiful baby boy last week. I was so blessed to be able to go see him when he was born but oh goodness I'm excited to kiss his little cheeks off soon. Things with my friends lives are all changing and moving and it's so exciting to watch! Two of my other friends are expecting, one just bought a new house, and my bestie is considering grad school in NYC. Exciting stuff! Oh and I can't forget my dear friend (who I will not name) is about to find her soul mate. I'm a little bit psychic and I just feel it in my bones. And if she doesn't on her own then I will find him for her via Christian Mingle. hehe

Other changes happening in life don't seem quite as fun. My friend Rachel and I were talking the other day about how certain good things in our lives will never be as they once were. It's hard to be away from loved ones, especially when circumstances aren't great. And even being away from friends poses problems for fear of growing apart. I just have to appreciate what God has for me right now and that is here in Blacksburg/Radford. But I refuse to allow that to harm relationships that are distanced.

Okay, enough rambling. My momma is coming to stay with me for a few days next week while Drew heads out of town for work. I've become a bit of a chicken living in our house out in the country. I was fine when Drew would leave me at the apartment because we had on Offensive Lineman as a neighbor. However, I no longer have that buffer. So, my mom is going to come protect me from the boogy man.

Here is sweet Jackson I get a picture of him every couple of days. I'm wondering if I should send Kristen a picture of me to show to Jackson every few days so he will know me too. Too much?? Yeah, I thought so.

Checking my pride at the door

This is not a fun post. This is a post admitting that I screwed up. Drew screwed up. We screwed up. But God's grace is sufficient.


Somewhere along the way our budget failed us. Drew has been paid 3 times since starting his full time job. As a result of getting paid only once a month, we have struggled to budget properly. We're still figuring it all out. It didn't help that I cleaned out our cabinets on Saturday morning to take to a man on the corner at the grocery store holding a sign stating he had no food.

Drew and I were stressing a little about the next 2 weeks until he gets paid again. We were not going to starve but things were going to be tight. Tighter than they have ever been in our marriage. Or frankly, in either of our lives. Ever. We are blessed to say that.

Sunday's service was written for Drew and I. We would be spending the next 2 weeks in parenthesis, listen to it and you'll understand. (here is the podcast)


On Sunday night, two of our dear friends from church showed up at our back door with arms full of groceries. Enough groceries to last us for a month or longer. God is so good.

I am not writing this to receive sympathy or donations. We want neither. I am writing because I refuse to allow my pride to hide the goodness of God's grace. So often, as Christians, we become concerned with how it will look if we let others know we are struggling. I am over that. We were struggling and God provided. That is a much better testimony than trying to maintain that Drew and I have no problems whatsoever.

Some people may sit back and say "how embarrassing, you are making more money that you've ever made." That is true, we are. And guess what, mo' money mo' problems. Thank goodness God understands this. We have adjusted our budget MAJORLY and will be attempting to repay our friends for a long time. Thank God for friends who when you thank them repeatedly say "We are simply letting God work through us."

The moral of the story is, everyone struggles and by letting others see how God has helped you does not make you less of a person it makes others aware of how big our God is.

Jesus never fails.