On Community

I use the word community a lot for a person who doesn’t have a great definition for it. It’s more of a feeling in my bones than something I can put into words when called upon to do so. It is one of those education buzzwords that’s often given in job interviews, like differentiation or graphic organizers, “I want to build a community of learners.” Boom. You’re suddenly entrusted with teaching 75 teenagers the importance of democracy. But in my personal life community has come to be what I am constantly seeking.

I have found community in church and I’ve found it at work. I’ve seen community play out in small towns-the coming together in crisis or rallying around the local basketball team. I’ve been host to community over shared love of books, wine, or Jesus depending on the season of my adult life.

I was raised by community. Small and isolated. Community with big hearts for their own but that rarely extended far beyond town limits. I’ve left community and its comforts many times and inevitably experienced a pang of regret.

And with each move I’ve also experienced isolation, at parties where community is present and I am not a part of it. Having been in this new city for only a few months, my community is only starting to form. It could easily be lost as I attempt to build trust and share experiences. I am grateful for it but always hesitant.

Instead my community lives in Mississippi and Virginia. East Africa and Kentucky. Selfishly, I want community in my immediacy-next door for shared days and meals. But then I wouldn’t be able to experience and give love to a global community of people who do amazing work in their own cities, following their passions and extending our collective community by adding more-building a longer table and not a higher fence-as the saying goes.

Whatever community is I hope you find it and hold tightly to it. When you move or they move, through change and growth, differing opinions and seasons of prolonged absence. May you always come back to your community, not expecting too much of each other but loving each other just as hard when you reunite.

The Oil Lamp

 sun sets across the mountain

hues of pink and orange

the end of a day’s light

a wick wet with oil

rests between fingers of a golden key

globe black with soot

 eyes squint

match strikes

flame illuminates

 hands grip carrying it nearer

the key rotates, the flame grows

a return to the tedium of a day’s work

still incomplete

"Ya'll eat yet?" An Appalachian Greeting

Encouraging my teenage students to be in tune with and celebrate their home culture is something akin to what I imagine it’d be like to call up my central Appalachian granny and ask her to adopt a new culture for the rest of her life: worship Shiva, Brahma and Vishnu in place of Jesus, begin making and eating naan instead of biscuits and wear a sari instead of her blue jeans and Keds. In other words many of my teenage students seem terribly intimidated by recognizing their cultural norms and practices.  

My students tend to see culture as far-off exotic celebrations of fantastical clothing, precise rituals, beautiful artistic expressions and strange foods. Nevermind that my students live in one of the most inherently Appalachian culture-oriented towns in our region. I suppose it makes sense that an appreciation for your home culture often comes after you’ve moved on or meet others with different cultures to have a point of comparison. I certainly didn’t consider myself “Appalachian” until college and since then I have introduced myself as nothing else. 

The one thing I often succeed in helping students understand is unique to our culture is our relationship with food. The marriage of growing, cooking, and preserving of sustenance in the mountains is something many of them relate to and appreciate. Food also provides the basis for many conversations.

We Appalachians worry ourselves to death over whether or not each other has eaten. And we don’t go to visit friends or family without calling ahead first to see what they could use from our garden or pantry. My go-to wedding gift to friends and family is something we’ve canned. And I’ve traveled to the Pound many a time with rhubarb stalks, jars of moonshine, pickled peppers and more cukes than I could count. And come back with zucchini bread, canned beans, kraut, and slicing tomatoes.

And as soon as we arrive we can barely get in the door before being asked if we’re ready to eat. And even if the truth is that we ate on the road, we lie. Because they already have chicken fried or scratch-made biscuits in the oven. It’s our answer to any problem (much like the Golden Girls and cheesecake) except ours might just be a sliced cucumber which in my experience is just as effective as cheesecake.

 We attended a wedding this weekend and when I finally got a chance to hug the bride at the reception before I could stop it I heard myself ask, “Did ya’ll get to eat yet?” I guess it’s also Appalachian for congratulations. 

A Day of Menial Accomplishments or Bryce's First Birthday

With hair like mine, I didn’t wash it myself until I was nearing adulthood. Hence, the scene: a head full of shampooed curls and my mother leaning over me in the bathtub breaking her back to complete a task most children my age had accomplished years before. With mom and I occupied by the nest atop my head, the task of keeping an eye on my baby brother fell to my younger sister. If you knew my sister you’d know that this plan was set up to fail from the beginning. My sister, even now as an adult, cannot be relied upon for the most basic tasks because of her propensity for distraction. And at six years old with Rugrats on TV, she was doomed. My mom had poured exactly 1 plastic cup of water onto my head when catastrophe struck (catastrophe in this instance is relative to a mother on her son’s first birthday).

Mom jumped up and ran to assess the situation while I sat watching my feet shrivel in the chilly bath water. I heard plenty of banging and yelling followed soon by my sister appearing in the bathroom informing me that she had allowed our brother to pull his birthday cake off of the table. He had proceeded to play in it and while already in his birthday outfit leaving both the cake and his clothes ruined. All of this occurred while she stood inches from the TV laughing at Tommy Pickles get into a fun kind of TV trouble unaware that she would soon be facing the kind of trouble they do not show on Nickelodeon. Furthermore she informed me that mom was after her, I believe she even uttered the phrase “help me.”

Children who live in solidarity with their siblings have always been heroes to me because in that moment I knew which side I wanted to be on and it was not the losing side of my poor sister. So, because I am my mother’s daughter I called upon a look of disgust and shook my head at her while rolling my eyes to ensure she understood what a disappointment she was not only to mom but to all of us.

Seeing she would receive no sympathy from her big sister, she retreated to her room. In the meantime I was left to rinse my own hair for the first time in my life, my brother still managed to turn 1 despite the lack of cake and my mother’s wrath grew less intense after she threw a chair across the kitchen that day. The mystery of whether the chair was thrown at someone is still heavily debated each holiday when we are together. But overall, that was a day of accomplishments: hair-washing, birthday party, and self-reflection. However, the guilty party accomplished nothing and she will still ignore your every word if there is television anywhere near her. 

A conversation with Granny pt. 1

A while back I got to sit down and record a conversation with my granny. I'm so lucky to still have her to tell her stories to me. There's quite a bit of transcript I'm still working through but this is one of my favorite parts. I've left in her dialect because it's authentically granny. 

Meg: What do you remember your daddy doing most?

Granny: Well he farmed. I guess he enjoyed it that's all he done. They worked hard. Daddy worked hard but Daddy used to be a drinker now he loved moonshine.

Meg: Did he make it?

Granny: Yeah. He just never did get caught but he made it. He sold it. And Mom sold whiskey till she said they was coming across, they carried it outta Boggs Creek. They'd have to go up there and get it and carry it out. And she said one time her and Estel was carrying a load out to sell for the next day you know and it was dark. And said they set down to rest and said Estel was always the type of person that never said any bad words they set down and he never had anything bad to say about anybody. She said they sat down on that log and he said "mom, don't you think there's another way that we could make a living besides this." And she said, "well Estel we'll try it." And she said she never sold another bit after that... 

But that's all they had to do, I mean they had to do something to even survive. And I know she said the ones that used to buy the whiskey from her, I think one of the men was ***** ******** and people like that but anyway said they come to buy some day or two after she said she wasn't selling no more and said he said "Well Pearlie I guess you think you're too damn good to sell whiskey." And she said no I'm not too good but I can make a living another way and she said that right there was the turning point, said she never did sell no more. But my daddy sure did drink it. She used to go up there at the barn and unscrew the cap on the whiskey and let it leak out so he wouldn't drink it. Cause he was the hatefulest man ever lived when he was drunk. God, I was scared to death of him. But then when he wasn't drinking he was a good person. That's just the way they lived. 

Laurel Fork

When you move away it’s always hard to pick and choose what events warrant a six-hour round trip and someone always thinks you should’ve come home when you didn’t. Birthdays, church homecomings, reunions, weddings, etc. As we’ve gotten older and busier we go home less but we try to choose those prime events where we can see the most people and get the most bang for our buck. Some holidays win out over others.

For us, Christmas has always been the constant. We’ve never skipped it. My mom’s entire family is always in Pound for the holiday and both of my dad’s brothers along with their closest cousins are there too. One Christmas, as often happens during holidays, my dad started romanticizing his younger days. His brothers and cousins soon joined in waxing poetic about the Laurel Fork trail near the Pound dam. They hadn’t been up there in years and truth be told it’s entirely possible that not a one of them had ever been there sober. The days when they ran through the hollers and trails of southwestern Virginia were long gone. They got it in their head that come spring when they were all back in town for Easter they’d get on that trail again.

The cold months passed and April arrived, cooler than expected. Easter was never a given for us, we remained non-committal until the last possible minute and always made a game-time decision. This particular year we packed up the dogs in the Subaru drove South on I-81 until we reached Abingdon where the dogs know it’s time to lay down because nothing but curves lay ahead for the next hour while we trekked as far as one can go into southwestern Virginia.  The Pound. 

My husband went ready to hit Laurel Fork with both dogs and some of my dad's family. When it came time to put their money where their mouth was only one of my dad’s cousins and my husband were going to make the trek. These men had hunted, fished, camped and carried on in places like these and maybe they didn’t want to relive it.

I had, personally, never been on the Laurel Fork trail and were it not for the events that transpired that Easter weekend I likely never would have. After not hearing from the husband for several hours I knew something was up and when I called he informed me he'd lost one of the dogs. 

Our Dolly is a rescue who had been a part of our family for only a few months. She’s part hound and part demon, her heightened energy and penchant for whining make her a lot of work. Word soon spread through our tiny town and when family members learned that the closest thing I’ll ever have to a child was missing in the woods it didn’t take long before they rallied to me. Relatives showed up in droves, some of them simply to sit in my car while I cried and threatened to divorce my husband if we didn’t find her.

My dad hiked up on one trail and his brother, Tim, drove up and to walk back down in from the other side. For hours we all traversed the trails and former trails of Pine Mountain. Night fell and still no Dolly. Cut to resurrection morning and my family in the woods calling for a dog instead of at the sunrise service. After a break for Easter dinner, night fell and still no Dolly.

Monday morning held a happy ending for us and Dolly. She'd had her fun and waited to be found in the parking lot at the Laurel Fork trail. Still wearing her hiking backpack and a bit worse for the wear she was ready to go home. 

I like to believe her antics were a ploy to get my daddy and his brother in those woods again but maybe she is just ornery. 

Winter Solstice

Shriveled red peppers cling to their plants, still standing in frozen ground. The starkest contrast of life and death, warmth and cold. We didn't get up any of the plants this year, just let them fade and take whatever form came most naturally to them. The peppers hang on the longest. Ironically, that food which rarely stands alone in a meal remains alone in our garden. All signs of life removed and still it sprouts proudly from the ground.

Though the days will soon be getting longer-first comes the cold. The old adage "going to bed with the chickens" plays itself out each night, here. Our girls flee to the warmth of the roost, nestled together. Beaks tucked under wing until the sunshine of the morning warms their coop.

I let the squirrel eat for a while -this time of year he's earned the luxury of leaving his home in the woods crossing the road and sneaking over our cattle gate for a scant bite of scratch feed. When I open the door, releasing Ike & Dolly he'll scurry home-heart racing from the chase but with hunger satisfied.

Each morning the cast of characters expands at the single feeder. Female cardinals are Drew's favorite-the slight hints of red in her mostly grey ensemble (much like those peppers in the garden). The more frequent-the loyalists I call them- appeal more to me: chickadee, tufted titmouse, and finches of all hues. They gather, fill their bellies, and fly off to the barren apple tree until time for lunch.

The life in our yard, this day, belongs to animals-not plants. But it's enough to sustain my heart until the thaw. Although next year a goat might be a nice addition.

Community

I live in a red county in a state that is blue thanks only to it's proximity to the capital. I sponsor the Diversity Club in a school whose population is 94% white. I sponsor Young Democrats in a school where the 8-10 students who dare attend through the boos and hisses of Carhartts in the hall must also hide their membership from their parents.

On November 9th a handful of them came to our meeting in room 315 with heavy hearts and a million questions. They read comments from classmates on Twitter that made my stomach churn. I did my best to give hard, honest answers and reminded them to consider their privilege as I often have to remind myself. Then from the same tear-soaked face that had just earnestly said "I'm scared" (rendering me more helpless than I've ever felt)  came a light bulb, "Why don't we have a community meal for everyone who is scared and hurting?"

So, on Saturday that is exactly what our town of just over 400 will do. We will come together and break bread reminding ourselves that though the world is big and the troubles overwhelming we must begin with our community and grow from there.

If you are in Floyd on Saturday I hope you will join us at Plenty! from 11:00-2:00 to be together in love. Everyone is welcome.

Long Weekends

 

 We left for our anniversary trip last Thursday and stopped over in Williamsburg for delicious sandwiches at The Cheese Shop. We, of course, had Ike with us so we required outdoor seating. But it was a nice day and the little historical square had doggy bowls all around filled with water.

 

We had time to kill so we wandered over to "colonial" Williamsburg. We passed a sign that said "thank you for paying for your ticket" which we did not do. It was very sunny and seeing as we are both pasty white and did not want to get burnt before we ever got to the beach, we didn't spend much time there. Although their flowers were lovely. 

 

 

We left Williamsburg and drove straight to the beach. Ike was pretty comical. He, like me, is not a big fan of water so he did not quite know what to think of it so he took to eating all of the crap that had washed up on the beach.

 

 

Thursday night we ordered pizza and rented Monument's Men. Then watched Blackfish and went to sleep depressed. 

 

 

The next morning we were on the beach before 9:00 and it was quite chilly. So I looked like this for the first 3 hours.... We ate lunch at a little place on the beach where Ike could be tied right next to us which was a good thing because I proceeded to feed him every bite of my fish tacos which were shit.

The crab dip was on point though. 

That night we found some perfect crab leg grub at this little million year old hole in the wall. Drew ended up with sun burnt feet despite my warnings that feet are the worst thing that can be sun burnt.

We listened to The Fault In Our Stars on audiobook in the way there and home. I had heard mixed reviews. One of my friends loathed it. But we found it rather enjoyable. I mean it's very sad but I loved the dialogue and Augustus Waters charmed me. I thought John Greene did a great job writing for teenagers (although they had a very advanced vocabulary). 

 

Sunday we had a cookout on our roof with some friends. I love summer foods, they're so colorful. We grilled pork chops and corn and enjoyed cilantro dip and spinach salad. Our friends, Sarah & Ben (and little one on the way) are moving to Pittsburgh next month so we are trying to get in all of the Taylor time we can. They are the friends who make us want to have kids. They are so thoughtful about each detail of little one to come and we love listening to their thoughts on the whole affair. Also we relate well on familial matters. :) 

Monday we enjoyed a baseball game with our North Carolinian friends but it was rather warm. I disappointed everyone by not eating as much as normal but I did probably get the award for drinking the most water and requiring the most sunscreen.

Yesterday we ended our amazingly long weekend by heading over to water the garden. I can't wait to have more colorful foods fresh from our own garden. Hope your weekend was relaxing but full of friends and food.

On another note, I'm halfway through The Book Thief right now. What are you all reading?

On the Go

Most of June was low-key for us. No big plans or trips but now it's July and things are shaking up. We spent this past weekend in Luray, Virginia camping with Drew's family. It is such a beautiful part of Virginia and we had a great visit.

We have company staying with us this week including sweet baby Kinsley who you can read about over on her mama's blog: A Well Rounded Intern.

Soon we'll be traveling to Tennessee for vacation with my family. Followed by some time back home to catch up with everyone. I'm glad we had such a relaxing June and I'm hyped about more family time and catching up with old friends soon.

We listened to Have A Little Faith by Mitch Albom on our way there and back. I love Mr. Albom although I still haven't gotten up the nerve to read Tuesday's With Morrie yet. But I did love hearing him talk about the Fab 5 on ESPN and very much enjoyed The Five People You Meet in Heaven (though I'm due for a re-read). We still have to finish the ending of faith but so far it is sooo good. If you've read anything of his before this one will not disappoint.

Also, my new addiction is Sons of Anarchy on Netflix...so much for those documentaries you all suggested. They are on hold until I finish season 4.

And if you're looking for a place to print your instagram pics, Prinstagram is the place to do it. They aren't too expensive and they came quick. And they're cute little squares.

What was the point of this post again?.... Sorry for the lack of any linear thinking today. Clearly my brain is on the go as well.

Retired at 24

Our garden has grown into quite the beautiful creature lately. We have had lots o' lettuce and spinach and soon will have tomatoes. We've taken a lot more pains this year and water it and tend to it like real farmers. And I must admit I'm pretty proud when people come over and brag on it.

Where our garden is located now we can see it from our front porch or our patio. So, we can admire it anytime we spend time outdoors. Even when we spend time in our state-of-the-art Olympic size pool like we did yesterday.

He built a fire in 90 degree weather to keep the gnats off of him.

This weekend I've also been working on our guest room, sprucing it up a bit in anticipation of having company soon.

I love our house and it is so nice to have all of this extra indoor and outdoor space. But I can't help but wonder if we've got it backwards. We're only 24 and we aren't ready for a family anytime soon. I think we got this house in the hopes of lots of company which does happen occasionally but not a lot. Everyone is busy, like us and it's hard to get away.

Our lease here ends next year around the time I'll be finishing my Master's and around the time most of our friends will be leaving. So, some big changes are in store for us. Namely: downsizing and relocating.

I do promise to make the most of this place for the next year and I hope to have a place just like it someday to call our own but we aren't there yet. We need to make sure we aren't retired at 24. So if you want to experience life here on Bishop, make plans for the next 10-12 months, I've got your room ready! And these 2 are lots of fun to hang with.

Friday Nights In Floyd

Last night we headed to Floyd with a few of our friends. They have a "Friday Night Jamboree" every Friday where people come and play their bluegrass music in the streets.

Floyd is the place, locally, for artists, craftspeople and musicians. The Appalachian culture is alive and well there and it makes my heart happy.

 

 

We enjoyed an awesome dinner at Oddfella's Cantina. I had a scrumptious crab cake sandwich and Drew made everyone uncomfortable eating his ribs and licking his fingers loudly.

We listened to a few groups on the street.

 

 

Then we headed into the Country Store where we got our flat footin' on. None of us really knew what we were doing but I think we blended in pretty well. The great thing about Floyd is no one really cared.

 



 

We also got our ice cream on in the store.

 

I know I've raved about Floyd on here many a time but I just love it. I never feel so connected to my roots as when I go there. I'm dying to take everyone I know for a Friday night in Floyd so bring your boots and let's go! 

Sweet Virginia

Drew and I just returned from an amazing short weekend only a short hour drive up the road. I saw a flyer at the Blacksburg Community Center recently about a wine tasting at Wilderness Adventure. I did a little research on the place and thought it looked pretty cool. The place is in New Castle, Virginia (population 153 in the 2010 census). The town is very cute but the mountains out there are beautiful. We invited our friends David and Emily and made plans.

Drew and I left early Saturday and went on beyond New Castle to what is called Paint Bank. (Doesn't even sound real does it?) Drew used to go hunting there when he was younger and was very excited to go back. There is an adorable little General Store there as soon as you get into the town.

Inside the store there is the Swinging Bridge Restaurant. The reason it's called that is because.....there's a swinging bridge inside.



The restaurant had so much character and the people there were quite friendly. Did I mention this restaurant is right next to a buffalo farm and they serve buffalo? Drew had a buffalo burger for lunch (I stuck with my bar-b-q chicken).

There were some big ass buffalo there and after one charged at Drew, we knew it was time to go. But look at those mountains, beautiful!

This is the one who wanted a piece of Drew. Look at the head on that thing! Somehow I don't think that electric fence would stop him if he got started.

This is the little inn there in town, we didn't stay there but it looked plumb cute. I wouldn't mind to go back sometime and stay there. Maybe ride a buffalo...haha

Drew was very happy to return to Paint Bank and I loved it's charm but I was ready for some wine tasting (and to get away from those darn buffalo).

We arrived at the Wilderness Adventure and it is just the neatest little place. For you Wise Countians it put me in the mind of Camp Bethel in some ways. We stayed in a cabin with several other couples (and when we arrived they were already several beers in) but they were the friendliest people. We met so many sweet people and of course the wine loosened us all up a bit. One of the ladies in our cabin was a caterer so she brought a cheese and fruit spread just for our little group. After we got to know everyone we headed over to the main lodge for dinner and the wine tasting.

The fire was so cozy and there was a cash bar set up before dinner. The tables were set up all around the room and it was such a nice place. The menu was amazing, thank God my picky eating days are behind me because I would have missed out on some amazing food.



 





The winery they featured was Chateau Morrisette which is in Floyd. The man that joined us from the winery was so nice and very understanding of our limited knowledge. I learned a lot and loved the little bit of Virginia wine history we got. Drew and I will definitely be making a trip out to their winery. These were our favorites and the ones we purchased.

After dinner we were able to hang around the lodge and get to know some of the other couples. I have not laughed that hard in a long time. Everyone was so friendly and I even met a guy who has ties to "the Pound" (so tickled that he called it that), small world. When we went back to our cabin they had built a fire outside. Drew played his guitar and David played his banjo and because most of the audience had been drinking since 4:00 they thought they were great.

We had such a good time, I loved the facility and we are discussing going back there for Drew's graduation party. The have zip-lining, canoes, hiking trails and lots to offer. We met some great people and hope they are all there when we got back next year. 

I'm even more convinced after this trip that I never want to leave Virginia. Oh yeah, did I mention we aren't going anywhere? We are so blessed for Drew to get an offer in Virginia and we are excited to find a house in the NRV. 





Jesus Never Fails

Clearly I have neglected this thing since starting work but as I told my aunt when she asked about it: payroll is not very exciting to blog about. But I do enjoy my work, for now I'm still in Roanoke but am okay with that. Drew goes back to school in two weeks and that will be the true test, becoming the bread-winner of our household, a feminist woman's dream. HA! I guess I can do it for one year if I expect him to do it for the rest of our life. Hopefully I will be back in school this time next year. *fingers crossed*

Drew and I have talked a lot about where we will go after he graduates (which may seem crazy since we have just barely gotten settled here) but we do have to think ahead in order for him to apply for jobs after graduation. We both want desperately to go back home but I'm not sure that's an option right away. I plan to enjoy Blacksburg while we are here but it's not for forever. There's a whole wide world out there but we can't seem to get our minds off of southwest Virginia.

Even being three hours away from my parent's front door, I'm still getting made fun of for my accent. The words I seem to have a problem with: wipe, ice, and oil. I'm sure there is a much longer list but those are the ones that stick out right now. I love my accent but I will be the first to admit sometimes it's a little strong but I hope I never lose it.

I know this is a sorry excuse for a blog update but it's the best I can do. And I just found out my sister's boyfriend was named after this amazing Elton John song.

Jesus Never Fails.