A Christmas Conundrum

We did Christmas differently this year. Something akin to a John Grisham novel I read years ago. We still put up the tree, had holiday parties and ate enough to carry us into the new year. But we ditched the gifts.

I remember being little and my mom always saying she did not like to receive gifts and as a child I found that very strange. But now I totally get it. It's a lot of pressure to open up a gift in front of the buyer, especially when you have a terrible poker face like me. I was never very dramatic as a child and often came across ungrateful in the gift reaction department.

And even the lack of gift giving wasn't a wholehearted effort. We still bought Chinese Christmas gifts for 3 different parties. But buy and in large we didn't buy gifts. This isn't a completely new thing for us. Drew and I have never done gifts for one another. So we just took it to the next level. No gifts from us and no gifts to us.

The response from our families was varied. From silence, to the rolling of eyes to all out unwillingness to accept the fact that Meg and Drew were scrooges this year. Part of it was money. We didn't really have extra money for tons of gifts this year.

But bigger than that was the realization of how little the two of us need. Christmas is my favorite time of year and not having gifts was not going to affect how excited I am to go home and drink punch until my teeth are red and eat my weight in sausage balls.

The realization was not only about us and how much crap we already have but also the realization of who is really in need. I did find myself trying to rationalize buying my 13 year old brother something, because "he's still a kid." But let's face it, homeboy didn't need anything. The money we put aside each month as giving money we used to give to others this holiday season.

I'm not writing to pat ourselves on the back or condemn those of you who got some awesome new gifts, (I know there are some of you out there who are 26 years old and with child who just love to unwrap gifts and I get it) but I'm writing to inspire. To inform you that it's okay to speak up and say we want to do things differently. You can inspire others, I know many of my family members who came to me and said they were so grateful to be able to give to others this year. And frankly, it's okay to feel guilty. Because for the last few Christmases as I sat in a room full of adults (mostly) opening gifts I couldn't help but think the whole thing was ridiculous. I wonder how my heart will feel when we have little ones but my hope is that it's something similar to this: A Holy Experience

That particular blog post changed my view on so much and I'm so grateful that it's become a part of us.

And in the interest of full disclosure I did receive a beautiful handmade scarf. Along with the most anxiety-ridden gift ever: a sewing machine. (which I asked my grandmother if I could return to her if I can't figure it out).

To which she replied: "well if you take it up there thinking you can't do nothin' with it then I guess you won't." Prayers appreciated as I attempt to make her not embarrassed of me proud.

I realize I use this picture a lot but it just sums so much up. And that cute little bird is just a sangin'