My family owns its own Santa suit. In some ways that
tells you everything you need to know about us but another of our more brief
holiday traditions may help create a better-rounded picture of us.
My grandmother’s house,
where all holidays were celebrated, sat in a cozy little neighborhood in our
small southwestern Virginia town and her front yard was home to many a game of
kickball and freeze tag. Whatever image you’re conjuring up of her yard, it was
smaller than that. Long, skinny and sloped. Also if you kicked the ball too
hard it’d go rolling down route 83 never to be seen again.
We went through about a
ten-year period where my cousins and I had all aged out of wanting to hide and
hunt eggs on Easter. Our mothers still insisted we color eggs so come the day
of resurrection we were left with three to four dozen multicolored eggs sitting
in the refrigerator with no real intention of doing anything with them.
Boredom was not a word
any of us were allowed to use and that made us resourceful. Hence the scene
that lay before me that Sunday. Before I could comprehend how it had come about
a gutsy cousin was on the pitcher’s mound i.e. middle of the front yard (again
whatever you’re imaging it’s too big) tossing eggs underhand toward my brother
who waited at the opposite end of the yard with a bat. When the egg made
contact with the foam t-ball bat the pitcher’s reaction time was key to shield
their eyes and mouth from the egg debris.
This went on for some
time considering the number of eggs we’d been forced to color. The pitcher was
exchanged every time someone needed to go remove the boiled egg and purple
shell from their hair. Each of us had our turn at bat leaving a carpet of
boiled egg all over the front yard.
Video cameras rolled while
we laughed our asses off at each other and soon Mamaw emerged from her perch on
the couch inside to stick her head out of the door and take in the scene.
Mamaw, never one to mince words, waited until she had everyone’s attention so
she could demand “Who’s gonna clean this
shit up?”
Today we have lots of
babies to hunt Easter eggs so some of our traditions have returned to the more
conventional. My husband still dresses in that red suit with pillows stuffed in
his pants every Christmas Eve speaking in an unidentifiable accent (Jamacain?)
but our batting eggs tradition died with Mamaw. There was an unspoken
understanding that there would be no way to top that opening game with her most
sincere reaction. I keep a pack of Marlboro Lights in my sock drawer to light
up when moments like those get foggier than I would like. I take a long draw
and close my eyes hoping to hear a bit of her sass and relive those moments on
Beech Street.
Like. More family stories, please.
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