I am kayak, hear me roar

If any of you watch Gilmore Girls obsessively like I do you will recognize this phrase. It is in reference to Lorelai being an independent woman who is not in a canoe requiring someone else to paddle with her, but instead is in a kayak paddling by herself. And that is my desire.

Let me preface (that one's for you Mom) by saying that I love my husband more than life itself. He works his tail off in the hope that one day I won't have to work and can stay home with our children. I am blessed to have such a driven, hard-working, not to mention smokin' hot husband.

However, how naive would it be of me to fully rely on him to provide for me? As women we have to have a back-up plan. Heaven forbid something should happen to Drew or to our marriage but I am a realist and know that things outside of our control happen. Be prepared. Have a career before you have a family, prove to yourself just how valuable you are and that if forced to you could provide for your family. You and you alone without the help of a man.

My mother was a stay-at-home mom who worked. Neat trick huh? She did hair and would  take us with her on days she worked. And I am so blessed to have been able to enjoy my childhood in my own home rather than in a daycare. And I want that for my kids, very much so because you don't get those years back. But once your kid's are in school, then what? Or eventually, once they are out on their own?

It worries me to see women who rely 100% on their husband with absolutely no back-up plan or skill set to fall back on. I don't want to sound like a pessimist but rather a realist. We can make all of the plans for our life that we want but sometimes things fall apart. Shit happens as some would say.

Again I will say there is no more important job than being a mother and unfortunately most mom's do not have the luxury of staying home with their kids. But as a stay-at-home mom/wife don't lose yourself or your ability to think and do for yourself. Do not become helpless.

It is very possible to be an independent married woman and mother who maintains a career (even if it may take hiatus for your children for a few years). This may sound like I'm talking in circles and completely contradictory but let me summarize by saying:

I want to be a mom who is there 100% for my kids but if forced to I want to be able to provide for them 100% as well. Hope I didn't step on too many toes. Wife or mother or neither, be a strong woman: maintain your opinions, maintain your beliefs, and don't let another person define you.


Jesus Never Fails.