On Gardens and Humility

There's an article circulating on Facebook that several women have shared entitled "I'm not a feminist and that's okay." While I wholeheartedly disagree I did not tweet ugly remarks with a definition for feminism. I waited until this morning when I feel slightly less reactionary but you know me and I have to say something.


 In the words of Sarah Bessey in her wonderful book Jesus Feminist:


“Our big and good God is at work in the world, and we have been invited to participate fully-however God has gifted and equipped and called each of us. One needn't identify as a feminist to participate in the redemptive movement of God for women in the world. The gospel is more than enough. Of course it is! But as long as I know how important maternal health is to Haiti's future, and as long as I know that women are being abused and raped, as long as I know girls are being denied life itself through selective abortion, abandonment, and abuse, as long as brave little girls in Afghanistan are being attacked with acid for the crime of going to school, and until being a Christian is synonymous with doing something about these things, you can also call me a feminist.”  


You've already heard me quote this here and brag and brag on her amazing book but I just wanted to give you a little refresher and to elaborate. Within the aforementioned article on not being feminist it states that women and men are equal (which is the very definition of feminism dear people).


The part where it seems to disagree with equality is in regards to marriage. It starts throwing around words and terms like "submissiveness" and "head of household" which are terms you learn in youth and Sunday School in your teens. The same time when you realize that only women's names are on the church list for nursery and the list responsible for fixing breakfast. And that in a few years the only way you can have a female Sunday School teacher is if you attend a different class than your husband. Because you know....women can't teach men. (side note: the best Sunday School teacher I ever had was a woman and I refuse to believe her gifts could not be used to teach men).


Last year, Drew and I plowed our garden in our Chacos. It was a long, difficult day but at the end of it I got on my hands and knees and washed my husband's feet. I did the same thing this year. It is a wonderful way to celebrate holy week and the breaking of ground in our garden which will provide us sustenance this summer. It is a humbling, holy practice that I don't think gets the credit it deserves.


All of this to say, we should all humble ourselves before each other. We don't need to make distinctions regarding who is to be more humble or submissive. We should all approach each other with humility; willing to learn whatever we can from one another.


Let's stop pretending this is not a time when men and women may not have typical household roles and stop forcing them on them in church. I mean what do you require of a gay couple in your church? Which one has to fix the breakfast? (Perhaps that's a moot point in your church in which case you have more reflection to do than I thought).


 And women when you feel overwhelmed by the breakfasts, the household showers, the nursery duty, decorating the church, etc. remember what Jesus says to Martha, I'm improvising a bit here but he said something like "None of that shit really matters, I matter."


The message I'm rambling about here is that feminism truly supports all women. I LOVE to stay home and I'm still trying to figure out a socially acceptable way to stay home without having children. Stay at home dog-mom still gets looks of disgust when I suggest it in public. Feminism is about supporting one another and lifting each other up. Articles like the one published give a false sense of the true meaning of the word which is why when I look at the people who have "liked" the article it's mostly men.


If there's a woman who is suggesting that you cannot be a feminist if you stay home she's not a feminist, she is a bitch and you need to find new friends.


Also, if you are not a follower of Jesus and you say you are not a feminist allow me to give you some words from Amy Poehler in response to those who renounce feminism:


"That's like someone being like, I don't really believe in cars, but I drive one every day and I love that it gets me places and makes life so much easier and faster and I don't know what I would do without it."




Now that I'm done with this post I realize it has nearly nothing to do with gardens and only a little to do with humility but I'm gonna leave it because if I put feminist in the title my readership goes down.

Humbled.

Mr. Blue Jay is always the first visitor at my feeders in the mornings. The early bird catches the worm, or sunflower seed as the case may be. He's a little aggressive and uses his size to his advantage. And when pretty Mrs. Cardinal comes in a little while, he'll run her off. (ironically, he's also the most skittish and difficult to get a picture of)

I'm a little like the blue jay when I'm hungry. Not pleasant. I'm ashamed to say I came in at 9:00 from class last night and raised a stink that one of Drew's friends had eaten the last Pizza Hut cheesestick. Not my proudest moment.

Yesterday, by the grace of God I passed my PRAXIS II. I had failed by 2 points in December and was under a bit of a time crunch in order to be accepted into my program at school in time. But God provided. Drew said he knew that He would but I doubted him. Perhaps, tempted him even.

You see, I didn't really study this time. I was bitter after studying my butt off last time and failing. I would sit down to study and get completely overwhelmed and watch 4 episodes of Friends back to back instead. But on Monday morning (the day before my test mind you) I sat at my kitchen counter watching mean ol' mr. blue jay and cried out to God. I needed him and I knew I could not do it without His help.

And he heard my cry. Humbled by my failure, I had to have his help. God was there as I answered questions about Portugal, GDP, and John Locke. (believe it or not all of those fall under Social Studies). And I passed with 10 points to spare. That wasn't me. I don't even know where Portugal really is if I'm honest. (don't you want me teaching your kids??)

I just wanted to let you know that God provides, but you all probably knew that already. I'm the one who doubted.

Humble Life

My parents have  video of me the night before my first day of kindergarten. My mom asks me "What do you think you'll do at school?" And I respond "Learn, play, nap...." but as I run out of verbs my 5 year old mind goes to....."look, find, see." My family and I (and now Drew and I) quote that often and laugh but it is kind of interesting how true it would be.

Maybe not until college did I actually learn to do those last few "action words" but I still try to do them everyday. I'm still looking for something, all the time. Don't mistake constantly looking for something for unhappiness, I'm not looking for happiness. I've found that. I'm looking for inspiration, something that speaks to me. I'm also still finding, finding out more about myself every day. Finding out more about life, God and the world. And seeing, I'm seeing what life is meant to be. And I think I've figured it out: humble.

One of the guys in our small group said a couple of weeks ago "There just seems to be something so right about leading a humble life." How simply he put it, but how hard it hit me. That is all any of us should want. I was raised this way, that what we have really isn't ours. But only recently have I "bought in." There is a popular pin on pinterest that I have seen circulate numerous times, it says: "Remember this that very little is needed to make a happy life." That couldn't be more true.

I have seen, close-up, people who strive for happiness in things here on earth. Putting their very being into their house, car, boat, shopping, etc.  I've always heard that if you want to know how blessed you are, count the things you have that money can't buy. Talk about truth. I have so many amazing people and relationships in my life that I could NEVER put a price tag on.

It is so easy to get caught up talking with Drew about building a house, buying a car, springing for an IPad. None of that is necessary. And those things will fade. Sure they will make you happy for a time but new cars get old. Houses get dirty. And an IPad would have a short life span around the likes of my husband (aka bull in a china shop).  I would rather spend my money to help others and see the world. The car can wait but living my life to the fullest cannot.

In this same small group meeting we kept bringing up HGTV and while I can waste a whole Saturday watching House Hunters, it has done us an injustice. Be happy with what you have. Less is more. That isn't HGTV's motto but it should be.

I am blessed to have a husband who shares these views and (if possible) cares less about material things than I. I don't think leading this kind of life will be easy, keeping up with the Jones' always seems to creep in at some point. But I know Drew and I can keep each other grounded.

And in the interest of full disclosure I also told my mother that night before I started kindergarten that on my "to do" list at school was "get a boyfriend." Not my proudest moment, but sure enough I did.